Ask Emily: 12-16-2002

Hey there S.G,Well, on one hand, you're at an age where a relationship like that might actually progress into something substantial. If you had told me that you were 17 or some age along those lines, I would have said that you should just be friends with this girl and that's it, but if you honestly see a future with her as being possible then it's really up to you whether you want this to be a long-term thing. You are free to move places and take trips and such at that age, while if you were any younger or any older you would be rather stuck in your respective cities because of school or a job or whatnot. At this point, though, you can visit each other back and forth for a while and then if things work out you could move to a common city with her or move in with her or whatever it is that you feel comfortable doing. The odds are against you, sure, but it's possible that everything could work out. Plus, damn, I had to check to be sure of my Canadian geography and stuff, but Montreal and Toronto are pretty close to each other. If you're not a lazy sow you can drive over and see her pretty easily, even if it does mean having to leave your beloved Frenchylande.On the other hand, long-distance stuff is hard shit, and when you only talk on the phone with someone or talk to them on the computer things can get pretty weird pretty fast. Also, you should keep in mind that you don't really know this person very well seeing as you only saw her in person for a short time at camp (who goes to camp when they're 25, anyway, what the hell). It's easy to meet someone for a short time, become infatuated with them, and then think that you are ideal for each other, but I urge you to exercise extreme caution before you make and long-term or permanent decisions in this and any similar situation. You may not be 17, but you are 25 and she is 22, and most people are still a little restless at that age. Additionally, the way you asked, "Should I seek local love" at the end of your letter suggests that you might not be as smitten with her as you might think. Give it a bunch of time before you make any big choices and make sure you think over those choices in great detail before you act on them. Other than that, go get 'em, Tiger.

Doomed.

Well that's it for the column this time around. What a roller coaster of despair and horrors that was. If any of you have questions for me, however, feel free to send me email at askemily@somethingawful.com with anything and everything that you might possibly want to know. If I can't answer it I'll find someone who can. In the mean time, good luck with your lives.

– Emily "Ask Emily" Reigel