Congratulations to the Masked Slasher, the first human ever to win the Killer Cup! I’m proud to be serving as game master in such progressive times, guys. Anyhoo, it's never too early to start planning for next year’s Monstergeddon, so I thought I’d start a board here where people can make suggestions or voice critiques. I open the floor ...
Okay guys. I will have a talk with Dogballz via private message, but I’d like to remind everyone that we are no longer using the world “trolling” on the site. We’re calling it “agitating,” out of respect to the actual troll community.
Hey all! I’m new to the monster community (just returned from the grave), and I thought this little mixer could be a great way to get to know other creep peeps. I got the invite from some schoolmates who still think I’m human. They’re planning a scavenger hunt in this old rundown casino. Should be a nice relaxed environment to pick them off!
Players’ Choice Best Kill Award: Your votes have been tallied and you overwhelmingly selected Howard the Wolf Man for his killing of Masked Slasher. But Howard cannot be awarded for killing another player. This is the most basic Monstergeddon rule! Thus the award goes to our runner-up, the FunTown Phantom, for turning a security guard inside out.
The Los Angeles metropolitan area is the second largest in the United States in terms of human population, and the fourth largest in terms of monster population (behind New York City, New Orleans, and Placid Valley, Colorado).
As the crudely assembled creation of a deranged scientist, I have my share of existential baggage. I was going through a dark patch, drinking a lot, tried to commit suicide by freezing myself at the Arctic Circle, was discovered and thawed by Russian oil-workers, blah blah. But after killing everyone on that oil rig, I feel re-energized and happy!
Twenty years ago this very day, back on August 16, 1992, the supernatural community lost a true icon when Ashley Campbell pushed Mortimer ‘The Church Retreat Maniac’ Vorchek into a live volcano. It seemed like every year Morty would get killed (often by Ms. Campbell), and this death seemed especially absurd, but sadly it stuck. We miss you, Morty.
Last night had so many highlights! The most collective kills in Monstergeddon history, you guys! Congratulations to everyone! And the message boards are already humming with discussion about the Masked Slasher’s triumphant return from the grave. But I know, I know, let’s get on with things, right? You want to know who won the awards!
I think it took a lot of courage for me to go into the Living/Unliving With Depression thread and talk about my problem, admitting that I’ve become a human again. Then Howard trolls his way in and calls me a whiner and says I shouldn’t be allowed on the boards anymore because I’m not a “real” monster?! I was a vampire before Howard was even born!
PHANTOM MENACE asks: Does anyone have dating advice for non-corporeals? I’m currently occupying (possessing) an elevator shaft in a high-rise, and there is a really cute specter that roams the 27th floor. But I have heard people say you shouldn’t [haunt] where you eat, so to speak. Plus she can’t actually leave the 27th floor, which seems limiting.
Have any of you been watching Betheba Orwen’s 'Rituals Vs Females in Monsterdom' series on YouTube? Her latest video just went up, and she makes the interesting point that before the Monstergeddon tournament started, the majority of feared monsters in the world were actually female.
In a testament to our on-going attempts to grow as a community, this year marks the first time we’ve named a male target Sexiest Victim. Undead slasher (and gender-boundary smasher!) Lizzy Keller offed an all-male victim pool (the men of a modeling agency), and she had a real cheesecake moment with the ‘Buff Blond Guy Oiling Himself.’ You go, girl!
BetterWatchOut posted: I only kill on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. My wrath isn’t for pleasure. These eyes were opened the Christmas morning I found my family dead, and I know it was because they mocked tradition and ate the cookies I left out for Santa. The naughty must be punished. Hail Santa.
Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!
Howard the Wolf Man and I had a little Airbnb mishap with a human. She ran to the police and long story short, Howard and I got arrested. We convinced them it was all a joke, so they let me go, but then they ran Howard’s prints and got a match from the crime scene back when he shot Masked Slasher. The bail is super huge you guys, please help! ASAP!
Can you please give Golgura a trophy? How about Tallest Monster? I speak not for Golgura now. He is stepping on us villagers out of anger. In his wisdom he has flattened my son.
Wait, so is the competition seriously not happening AT ALL this year???
Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful