Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde

Upon going outside, you discover that most of the world hates you.Game Plot: I really don't have any idea. The game starts off with you leaving your lab (although it could be your kitchen, I wasn't very sure) and then has you wandering around outside for no reason whatsoever. When you walk as Dr. Jekyll, little kids and people attack you and your life bar decreases, as well as a second bar that tells how close you are to becoming Hyde. Eventually Jekyll grabs his head, falls to his knees, and becomes Hyde. Than it gets all dark and you have to fight dead things. If there's a mission buried somewhere in here, I sure can't find it.

Weapons: When you're Dr. Jekyll you walk as slow as a desert turtle and have a cane. The problem with this is that the cane is absolutely useless. You push the attack button and he just sticks the cane out. If you try to hit an enemy with it, the enemy walks right through it and the proceeds to hurt you. If you try to break a barrel that is rolling your way, you get pushed back. So we can safely assume that the cane was just a decoration and has no real value or point for being in the game. As Hyde you are a total badass and are the complete opposite of Dr. Jekyll, which is the only thing that made sense in the game and followed suit with the book. You walk the opposite direction you were going as Dr. Jekyll, and the game even forces you to move; if there are little bricks or other objects in the way, it will make you jump them. You have super strong fists to punch dead things with, and some super fireball move that I found by accident. The super fireball move is a orange ball that acts like a defective up boomerang and wobbles at enemies, then comes flying back towards you. I found this super move by accidentally pressing up and punch at the same time (it was THAT secret).

Probably the most unique enemy in the game, the grave digger has the ability to throw three piles of dirt in multiple directions with one swift motion.Enemies: As Dr. Jekyll, you are attacked by "earthly" enemies. The assortment of bad guys is bizarre: bees come out of nowhere and hover in random patterns, crows fly overhead and try to drop excrement onto you, purple colored men walk slowly in your direction and drop bombs that have unpredictable blast radii, spiders fall from trees, little kids shoot slingshots, ladies charge at you, and gravediggers throw dirt in your direction. I still don't know why everybody hates you so much, everything that happens in this game is pointless. It's not like you are smothered with honey, so why are the bees chasing you? I won't even begin to imagine why fat women want to run you over.

When you turn into Mr. Hyde, the enemies get even more disturbing. The Jackalope from "America's Funniest Home Videos" and the Little Mermaid especially want to see you dead. Crazy dead zombie women attack you, little winged devils blow bubbles in your direction, and spore creatures explode mid air causing harmful little red balls to go in multiple directions.

You know, just like in the original book.

Number of Levels: There are no levels. You just keep walking, the background changes, and new enemies come into play. You are not informed on how far you have advanced, leaving you with a rather uncertain feeling for how long the game really is (thankfully, not that long).

Renegade Captain Crunch Berries attack Mr. Hyde.Number of Bosses: Zero. Ok, not to be a total bastard, but this really pissed me off. There were no end bosses. The closest thing to an end guy was a fat lady that sung musical notes which hurt you. She would cover the whole screen with notes and you would have to run up to her and give her money to make her stop singing (I'm serious). She appeared at least once in most of the later stages, so you can't really call her a boss. Although there are no real end guys to speak of, it could be said the game itself is an end guy. There are points in the game where there are so many enemies on the screen that you will find yourself cursing and yelling and begging for it all to end.

Defining Moment: Trying to stop the fat lady from spewing notes all over the place while hunters shoot crows from the sky, causing the dead crows to fall right next to the fat lady giving her a protective barrier so you can't touch her without getting hurt. On top of this, purple men are dropping bombs right next to you so you are trapped into getting hurt - this is typical for this game. Another situation comes to mind where a couple fought on a second story floor and started throwing stuff around. I had to pass them, but were are barrels rolling around the ground ala "Pitfall" so I had to jump the barrels and avoid getting hit in the back, head, or ass with pieces of (what looked like) bead or corn or maybe beer bottles, who knows. The point is, the game is really cheap and it's purpose is obviously to piss people off. It succeeded.

Each category in the rating system is based out of a possible -10 score (-10 being the worst). The overall score is based out of a possible -50 score (-50 being the worst).

– Hannya (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)