Skymall Product Reviews: Cobra Walking Stick

This article is part of the SkyMall Product Reviews series.

Customer Review:
By Walking Tall in Denver, CO

I've tried many cobra walking sticks in the past, but this one seems to be the best. Can't imagine life without one. Well, to be honest I can, and it's not pretty. Blood everywhere... women screaming... children with terrible glowing eyes... strange chanting coming from the woods... don't want to imagine anymore.

Age: 36-40

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Customer Review:
By Snakebite in Austin, TX

Love the balls out of this walking stick. Owned a lot of walking sticks -- dragons, horses, big-boobed ladies, uncircumcised members -- but the cobra offers the best grip. Recommend for anyone needing a little extra support when walking.

Age: 26-30

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Customer Review:
By SerpentineDad in Frazier, PA

It was not easy choosing a walking stick, given the impressive selection offered by Skymall. I liked the attitude of the Bulldog Walking Stick (item PA-6175), especially since it matches all of my shirts. The lethal practically of the Bavarian Walking Stick (PA-9096) was also appealing, as was the Gigaresque bio-mechanical beauty of the Classic Ornate Walking Stick (PA-6000). In the end I decided to try out the cobra and I have no regrets, aside from the fact I have wasted my entire life on idiotic pursuits.

Age: 18-25

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Customer Review:
Pelvic_Problems in Kirkland, WA

I recently developed difficulty with walking due to a supererupted pelvis, so I need a little help. This walking stick is comfortable, stylish and makes me feel more virile in spite of the turmoil happening around my genitals and anus.

Age: 26-30

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Customer Review:
By Confused in Fremont, CA

I have been walking fine for over thirty years without owning a walking stick. Will this help me walk better or is it some kind of scam? I am now super nervous of walking in case I've been doing it wrong all this time. I don't know what to do and I don't want to fall down. Help me, Skymall.

Age: 31-35

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Customer Review:
By Disgusted_Wife in None Of Your Beeswax, AL

My husband was killed by a cobra. Shame on you Skymall for celebrating such a murderous animal. I hope everyone who orders this loses a loved one to cobra venom.

Age: 36-40

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Customer Review:
By Slithering Pete

I have been involved with ritual snake worship for over a decade and am always on the looking for apparel and accessories that compliment my beliefs. Unfortunately I found the Cobra Walking Stick to talk the talk, but not walk the walk. As I am an exceptionally tall man, I had to hunch over to properly use it, which was hard on my back. Because of this, I cannot in good conscience recommend this to anyone else, be they worshippers or just casual fans of serpents.

Age: 41-45

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Customer Review:
By Bosco in Milkwaukee, WI

It's just lovely, and the design goes great with most of my shorts and vests. Cobra walking sticks are great conversation starters and women are very attracted to the men who utilize them.

Age: 41-45

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Customer Review:
By Wereman in Fort Wayne, IN

I can no longer walk due excess ankle fat hindering my equilibrium, but in those brief times I climb out of my scooter and attempt to stand, usually to reach for something out of a freezer section in the Wal-Mart, this cobra walking stick provides invaluable support. I love it.

Age: 46-50

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Customer Review:
By Joey in Miami, FL

Not truly authentic. Don't bother.

Age: 26-30

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)