I love books. Ever since I was a child, they were my sanctuary. My mode of transport. My marvelous steam engine or my magic ring, fantastic sword or destiny among the Old Ones. Bullies could beat me up, could knock me down, could hang me from the coatrack by my snowpants and leave me twisting helplessly in the air, but they could never bother my books. And yet not all books are created equal. It is difficult to match the power of Proust, the timeless beauty of Shakespeare, the ominous plodding of Lovecraft, or the transcendent majesty of Shayla Black. Some books draw their strength from plot and others from lyrical language. The following books derive their power chiefly from the indispensable asset of their covers. It was forum goon XVIII who introduced us to this special genre of real books that look like photoshops. He, along with the rest of the forum goons, have assembled an exhaustive list of the most absurd book covers ever created. If you see one which piques your curiosity, check out Amazon - I assure you they all exist.
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Animals:
abata and ebuko encourages you to purchase Flutie Flakes.
Dave Mustard is dirty dancing.
Doppel Frog fears nothing.
Dusseldorf bought his cat a forums account.
Effexxor painted the Sistine Catpel.
KozmoNaut invented the Roomba loom after reading this book.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.
Previous Articles
- I am Very Satisfied with my Tlingit Ghostmask
- Wake Up Your Cat
- Ancient Superweapons Fucking Rock
- The Flawless Debate
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