Oh, the Tub Wizard has summoned Jerry Garcia! And made him fat! And more gay! Roll yourself a 20 sided dice you barrel of rancid gummy bears.

Enoch Yablonski: "I SAW THIS FAT FUCK OUTSIDE MY HOUSE, I PULLED OUT MY GARDEN HOSE TO SPRAY THE FUCKER DOWN BUT I FORGOT TO PAY MY WATER BILLS FOR THE LAST 3 YEARS SO I HAD TO SETTLE FOR WRAPPING THE HOSE AROUND HIS NECK, ALTHOUGH THE HOSE WAS ONLY 30 FEET LONG SO IT DIDN'T GO COMPLETELY AROUND."

You goddamn liar, you're too fucking broke to even afford garden hose.

Enoch Yablonski: "I STOLE IT FROM YOUR CLOSET AND TORE OFF THE 'INSERT INTO ASS FOR BEST RESULTS' TAG YOU BRAINDEAD BAG OF SMASHES."

Oh how cute, a dolphin makes out with a whale.

I hate rock and roll music, it isn't even music, it's just some fat long haired hippies hitting some strings with a piece of plastic. The last real musician was Sinatra, and when he died, that was the day music died.

Enoch Yablonski: "AMEN ON THAT."

Yeah, thank you ever so much for contributing that sentence to my computer screen page, Enoch. You make the world such a better place simply by sitting there and rotting and typing words onto my screen.

Some white trash simp tried to rip me off of $1.28 when I bought my spark plugs, so I decided to teach him a little lesson about construction by constructing his leg into the ground.

I hate Halloween and I hate the jackasses who go out and demand me to give them free shit like candy and maple syrup and shit, so I stormed over to the Richmond's house and took the offensive by grabbing a pumpkin and making a new Halloween costume for their retard kid. I call this costume "PUMPKIN ROTTING FROM THE INSIDE."

Enoch Yablonski: "I CALL YOUR FACE 'GOD'S DISASTER'."

Get off my computer screen already you penniless leech, how do I get him off my computer screen web Interweb? Somebody send me a computer mail message and tell me or else so help me God I'm going to smash this lemon of a computer into the drywall.