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PAGE
147
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Oh
look, it's a tattooed fetus with glasses, how
lovely.
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The
sad thing is that it wasn't even Halloween when
I took this picture. It was the middle of July.
I don't know who the hell this bugeyed cretin
is, but that didn't stop me from stealing his
coffee table and pissing all over his couch. That
table weighed a fucking ton. I got about halfway
across the moron's yard when I fell down and passed
out because I was sweating like a stuck hog. When
I woke up, I was in the creek and my fucking shoes
were gone, which really pissed me off because
they were the only pair of shoes I own that fit
me.
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![](http://i.somethingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou/page-147-03.jpg) |
Ed
Nichols (on the left), the grease monkey who spends
all day hanging around the Jiffy Lube and trying
to get enough spare change to buy a Slurpee. I
don't know who the hell the Human Bacon Deposit
on the right is, but the guy looks like he's got
skin pores big enough to shove hamburgers into.
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![](http://i.somethingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou/page-147-04.jpg) |
If
the drinks aren't fruity enough, the limpwristed
pansies holding them sure as hell are. Go direct
a musical, you Tab-drinking gutterfucks.
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Hank
the Bloated Dwarf. Let's see your magic armor
protect from a brick smashing against your ugly
skull.
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![](http://i.somethingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou/page-147-06.jpg) |
The
Conga Line of the Damned moves through town, claiming
more and more victims. The dance ends when they
reach the gay whorehouse in North Appleton's red
light district.
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