Al Davenport is covered with beads he was thrown at Mardi Gras, mostly from people hoping one of the necklaces would wrap itself around his scrawny neck and choke the dumb bastard to death. As you can tell, it didn't work, and now Al spreads human suffering and misery via his nipples.

A goth in it's native habitat, attempting to mate with a tree.

Oh no! The computer geek's game of "Murder Simulation" is rudely interrupted by some stupid Japanese cartoons! The Inter-net Police will surely hear about this travesty of justice! That's okay, you can still get the power up and win the game, you slobbering bucket of puke!

Hey Ramada Inn, you'd better hide the free continental breakfast if you know what's good for business.

Cowgirl or girl cow?

YOU MAKE THE CALL!

Oh no! Run! THE MUTANTS HAVE DISCOVERED TIME TRAVEL! The key is wearing frictionless clothing so your fat flabby gut can absorb the heat. I'll put an end to this nonsense by traveling back in time and beating the crap out of this moron's parents. Nah, forget the whole time machine thing, I'll just get drunk.