The North Appleton Garbage Barge prepares to drop off another steaming load onto "No Man's Land." Actually, I think "No Man's Land" is the nickname of that thing in the swimming suit too.

Even the superheroes in East Appleton suck. Supergoth rescues ugly teenagers from the schoolyard bullies that beat the snot out of them. Then Supergoth takes them back to his Palace of Refuge, which is his parents' garage. He's decorated it by posting pictures of Mary Manson all over the walls. I saw Mary Manson on the "Jenny Jones" show once. He looks like the freak who bags groceries at the local Von's store.

I assume Supergoth's wearing stockings because he's a horse's ass.

Professor Ernest Gallisto prepares to talk about his latest scientific seminar, "I Want to Have Sex With Your Laptop Computer."

"THEY LETTIN' ME ON SPRINGER, MAW!!!"

George "Fart" Hopkins poses for the latest "Filthy Bastard of the Month" calendar shot. Too bad he's an illiterate hunk of inbred cheese factory and he can't even spell "FART" correctly on his shirt. If you want to contact George, you can find most pieces of him in the woods behind my toolshed.

Oh no!

Commander Space hatches a plan!