Nope.
You can't. But as for
the idea of making the
game faster and playing
with that fucking disco
pop techno metal pumped
to the max, I only offer
one thought: SPEED
KILLS.
THE
MAP: It is a large
box with a collection
of vertical slabs stuck
in the floor here and
there with enough weapons
and ammo strewn about
the floor for an entire
tier of levels. A totally
nondescript puke gray
/ pink texture is used
uniformly in the map in
a manner that suggests
to me that Pinball didn't
give a flying fuck what
it was going to look like.
He also apparently forgot
what game engine he was
using and made a half-assed
DOOM level with
Quake 3 items and
weapons. To prove this
theory I dusted off my
HellMaker MacDOOM
editor and slapped together
a DOOM
2 version of the map
in exactly 42 minutes,
twelve minutes longer
than it took Pinball to
make his with "Q-Radient"
(as he refers to it).
The only real differences
between the maps are the
texture graphics (I opted
for something a bit more
interesting since there
wasn't an acceptable DOOM
2 texture equivalent)
and the player movement
/ targeting differences
between the two games.
Pinball chose to explore
this advance in game engine
technology by placing
these goofy, teetering
ledges on top of some
of the vertical slabs
upon which he perched
a couple of boring items
that are already amongst
those scattered on the
floor. I saw no purpose
in bothering to rocket-jump
up to examine them or
do some sniping (which
is probably their real
function) because I was
too busy running around
like an idiot with a gun.
By the way, to HELL
with wasting valuable
minutes searching for
the goddamn BFG; I gots
places to go and people
to see, dig?
 |
|
An
overhead view of
Pinball's idea of
"lighting design".
|
Anyway,
to give the map 'variety',
Pinball inserted a batch
of spotlight entities
(thankfully monochromatic)
that don't really illuminate
anything and just sort
of point at the floor,
helping to underscore
the haphazard and thoughtless
manner in which the map
was executed.
The saving
grace of the level is
that it is so brain-dead
and simplistic that it
makes for quite an enjoyable
Bot-fest, and if you can
switch off your mind,
it actually is worth a
game. I found the great
"challenge"
of the map to be how with
its default config Quake
3 has the player switch
weapons every time you
pick one up (unless that
setting is disabled, obviously),
and since every eight
feet or so there is a
new gun lying on the floor
to trip over, one is constantly
switching. It becomes
a test of your ability
to adjust for the differences
of each weapon while on
the run and already firing,
which becomes interesting
at close-range with Quad
and explosives. Sure,
we've all played the game
in maps that allow for
strategy when implementing
weapon changes -- imagine
one that totally does
away with that factor.
GAMEPLAY:
Once again, it actually
isn't that bad if your
sole interest when playing
Quake is running
around like a retard and
shooting a gun. I'd rather
have you do it in this
map then in my local shopping
mall's food court, so
go nuts.
FUN
FACTOR: "Whatever."
THE
BOTTOM LINE: As usual,
before you start sending
in the flames defending
the virtues of this map,
I readily admit that it
is quite playable in spite
of my low opinion of it.
I'm also sure that there
will be a number of readers
that will be impressed
by its utter lack of nuances
or imagination, and will
enthusiastically seek
out further examples of
Mr. Ball's work. I'm happy
to have turned you onto
his stuff, so to speak.
Now pardon me while I
delete it.
-
Squonkamatic
for the People!!
