Something Awful: The Internet Makes You Stupid

: "Thank you for wrapping mommy up in red bubble wrap, son. Now we can ship me to Pigtopia."

"Oh mom please have fun in Pigtopia."

"I will son."

: Crisco Brinkley plants a big wet sloppy one on our town's founder, Edgar Moosalvia. Where's the rest of his body? I will give you a hint: BETWEEN HER MOLARS.

: TED GRUMSVILLE PRESENTS: A LIST OF THINGS OF ALL THE THINGS I WILL NEVER EVER EAT

: Looking good there Buddy. I swear, that guy has had this expression on his face ever since the day I shoved a rake and a pair of pliers up his ass because I caught him digging through my trash and trying to tape record my phone conversations by gluing water bottles to my phone lines. He's spying on me because he works for those assneck shitstains down the street, the FBI who are disguised as a family of four. I KNOW IT'S YOU GUYS, DROP THE DISGUISE!!! I killed a stray cat and threw it down their chimney and shouted "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME YOU RAT FINKS" but instead of saying that I just kinda threw up everywhere and I slipped and fell off the roof, but I also knocked off their gutter and brought it home with me and guess what was in the gutter? It was a Frisbee. And a walnut.

: I AM SIR TANLY A. SHITHEAD, A KNIGHT OF THE DINNER TABLE, LET'S GO KILL SOME LEVEL 45 ORCS OKAY OKAY LETS GO

: It escaped from the cornfield! But what will scare the birds away now? Both mother and daughter have cloned the same crooked mouth. ALL THE BETTER TO CHEW GLASS AND SCRAP METAL WITH MY DEAR!

I HATE YOU PAGE 263