Something Awful: The Internet Makes You Stupid

: Oh, the Tub Wizard has summoned Jerry Garcia! And made him fat! And more gay! Roll yourself a 20 sided dice you barrel of rancid gummy bears.

Enoch Yablonski: You goddamn liar, you're too fucking broke to even afford garden hose.

Enoch Yablonski: "I STOLE IT FROM YOUR CLOSET AND TORE OFF THE 'INSERT INTO ASS FOR BEST RESULTS' TAG YOU BRAINDEAD BAG OF SMASHES."

: I hate rock and roll music, it isn't even music, it's just some fat long haired hippies hitting some strings with a piece of plastic. The last real musician was Sinatra, and when he died, that was the day music died.

Enoch Yablonski: Yeah, thank you ever so much for contributing that sentence to my computer screen page, Enoch. You make the world such a better place simply by sitting there and rotting and typing words onto my screen.

: Some white trash simp tried to rip me off of $1.28 when I bought my spark plugs, so I decided to teach him a little lesson about construction by constructing his leg into the ground.

: I hate Halloween and I hate the jackasses who go out and demand me to give them free shit like candy and maple syrup and shit, so I stormed over to the Richmond's house and took the offensive by grabbing a pumpkin and making a new Halloween costume for their retard kid. I call this costume "PUMPKIN ROTTING FROM THE INSIDE."

Enoch Yablonski: Get off my computer screen already you penniless leech, how do I get him off my computer screen web Interweb? Somebody send me a computer mail message and tell me or else so help me God I'm going to smash this lemon of a computer into the drywall.

: Mister and Misses Ham pose for their final picture in this life. Mrs. Ham had to color in her eyebrows with crayons because I ripped them out two days before when she tried to put a spell on me in the Hen House parking lot.

I HATE YOU PAGE 224