I HATE YOU PAGE 170

The lone survivor from "CliffCon 2000".

ESCAPED MUTANT SATANIC OSTRICH AND PORRIDGE SALAMANDER FLEE FROM ZOO AND ATTEND FORMAL WEDDING RECEPTION! STORY AT 10:00!

Slick Louie Bennings shows off the various awards and pins he won for his prize pig Esmerelda on the right. I think Count Crotchula put his DRIFTING EYEBALL spell on her too. Poor pig.

Appleton City's latest money-losing idea: Troll Airlines. The in-flight snack is human babies, and lots of em.

It's like tasting a Twinkie with public hair growing out of it!

Insane vet Harry Beasdale. He's been monitoring that oscilloscope and all that HAM radio shit for the NSA soldiers that he's convinced are tracking his every move. What a fucking retard. Everybody knows that the NSA aren't tracking us and monitoring everything we do; that's the UN that does that, and I got a toaster with a tracking device to prove it. And no, I'm not fucking crazy or drunk, so go lick a ladybug if you don't fucking believe me.