Something Awful: The Internet Makes You Stupid

: YOU MAY TAKE OUR SOCIAL LIVES BUT YOU'LL NEVER TAKE OUR FREEEEEDOOOOM!!!

: Dear god, the aliens have landed and they look like overweight retards wearing drape curtains. Oh, my mistake, THEY ARE. The only alien present here is the intergalactic sewer fungus growing on their faces.

: It's party time at the Appleton River power plant! Jake "Brillo Face" Nichols and Mike "Thumb Boy" Watkins spend most of their time sweeping the floors in the main turbine housing. Looks to me like they've spent a little too long inhaling the fumes from the catalyser. Incidentally, you don't want to know how the Watkins kid came by the nickname "Thumb Boy" ... but you may be able to guess by the expression on his face.

: Paul Gathers, the lead guitarist from "Lunar Carpark", one of East Appleton's many laughable "music" groups. The reason nobody listens to their shitfaced screeching is because "Greasemonkey" Gathers can't play a fucking note; instead he jumps up and down on stage screaming like a retard and rubbing his guitar against his crotch. Come to think of it, that's what he does most of the time he isn't on stage too.

: Whatever the screaming fuck these things are, they have wings, so I can safely assume it's hunting season.

: DJ Chinchilla hangs out in the ghetto streets of Appleton City Central Park. Once I was walking back from the store and this jackass jumped out of the trees waving a gun at me and threatening to use a cat on my ass or some shit. I smacked him upside the head with a can of peaches I'd just bought and he fell over and rolled into the gutter screaming like a sissy. What a fucking spitwad. One time I saw a dead deer on the corner of 155th and Harper Street.

I HATE YOU PAGE 157